Cocktails in Purgatory

by Inclusive Or

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    Inclusive Or - Cocktails in Purgatory - 12" Vinyl (black)
    2014 bettyElm Records

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    2014 bettyElm Records

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released September 9, 2014

Recorded at The Square Studio



all rights reserved


Inclusive Or Syracuse, New York

Inclusive Or formed in the spring of 2013.

Ian - Drums

Trevor - Guitar / Voice

Dave - Guitar

Dan - Bass

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Track Name: Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man
It must’ve been when my disk came out.
I was single then, lost and indifferent.
I strummed and sang some notes.
Words I forgot, melodies from long ago.
I concede: There are no repeats; time’s through composed.

Was Parmenides right this time?
Is it all one? What is is what’s done?
Am I the fool to think there’s change?
People will behave? People can be saved from themselves?
I concede: It’s all silly speak to believe.

Slowly, the days change.
I’m still paid the same but now I’m told I’ve gotta act my age.

So let’s go to dinner. I’ll try to forget her.
I’ve never been much of a drinker, but I figure, “when in Rome."

I’m told we all die alone. So it goes.
Hand me the comb I need to control the flow of my hair.
I used to not care. Now I’m scared.
I hide my insides behind the clothes I wear.
I’m a well-manicured beast, see?
And you’ll finally see the real me underneath the sheets where I can let go.

Slowly, the names change.
I mimic disinterest then beg for forgiveness the schema remains the same.

I see nothing I say has weight.
Like the contrails of planes, any change we make, dissipates, disintegrates and fades.
All we’re left with is today.
Track Name: Come Home, or Don't
Come home, or don’t.
I’ll stay up all night and listen for the phone.
For the call that you’ve died
You drove off a cliff. You text too much when you drive.

I've told you a million times.

Cold, or hot?
I've got a girl who said she'd miss me a lot if I go.
But why gloat?
Am I so full of ego to think to be known?

Or remembered when I dissolve into bones?

There’s a chemical contradiction within the confines of our minds.
That Freudian intuition to make another motherfucker to deal with this life
When we die.

Love me, or leave.
I really don’t care I can sleep through my dreams.
They’re just riffs of my thoughts.
The same ones I drown down with a bottle of scotch, like,

Oh, god. There's no God.
And are you really gone?

Am I really this lost?

Evolution’s architecture is in the hallways of my brain.
It asserts itself like a cancer, looking for intelligible answers,
Of love, and death, and pain.
Track Name: Inclusive Or
I guess I’ve been living well.
Though I can’t stand myself, sometimes.
All the youth you tried to save.
Those pretty faces fade, don’t they?

One or the other or it all.

I guess I’ve been feeling free.
And I’ve been staying clean, mostly.
All the truth you threw away
Those lies just taste so great, don’t they?
Track Name: Scherzo
This town is full of cradle robbers, little men and draft dodgers
Everybody’s looking for a way to get made.

This town is full of little men, looking for a way in
Everybody’s looking for a way to get laid.

Well don’t you know that you’re the same kind of joke?

We used to laugh about in my car with our asses out,
Making love with the seats rolled down to Neutral Milk Hotel?
And if you lie, and claim, “It’s destiny!” As you fight against entropy
You say what you want and what you need is for me to rot in hell.
Well, I’ve already been there.

I’m the number on the back of your midnight snack.
The one you look at and gasp, “How much fat is in that?"

I’m the wheat that you see that you refuse to eat.
You cite scientific means, but in reality you’re a phony

She left me high and dry at the end of autumn.
I never understood the blues until I got 'em.
Track Name: Eudaimonia
Is this as inspired as I can get?
Plug the mic in and flip the switch.
Sing poorly, and off time.
Rhyme, “rhyme,” with, “rhyme.”

Laziness supervenes,
I wouldn’t breath if it weren’t involuntary.
What am I whining about now?

There are papers to do,
Failures to live through,
But I’m really busying watching TV.

I’ve saved Hyrule, Mushroom Kingdom, and Tamriel,
But I can hardly even save myself.

If I die I get another try.
Infinite lives over finite time.
There’s a whole world out there
That I’m supposed to care about,
But I won’t leave the house.

As my mind collides with common sense
I should start a task, or finish it.
Life leaves, time takes more of I, the more I whine.

There’s shit I should have done,
Girls I used to love once,
But what is the use thinking counterfactually?

Amanda’s in France, Dan’s in Afghanistan.
I’m still at 1-2-4 Freeman Ave.
Dad lives ten minutes away, this place I will stay from cradle to grave.
I’ll pretend that there’s no escape.

I’m afraid to run away.
Track Name: Lovesong Attempt #34
Steve fashioned me piano keys to my fingers,
With the tricks that make models seem thinner.
Those pictures make you throw your dinner up down the drain.
Track Name: My Three Queens
Number one was a real gun, she never had fun unless she was on the run.
I loved her just because, and that was enough.

She was into hard drugs, we were gonna die young and twenty-five.
She was nothing special, but she was mine.

I met a man who had nine wives.
And he drank enough wine to juggle them flawlessly.
Me? I couldn’t even keep one.
It’s lonely to love the man you’ve become when no one else does.

Number three was the Ice Queen, everyone see’s she’s too pretty for me.
And now I’ve gotta agree, now that the leaves have turned green.

We used to make love in her basement when her mom made apple pie.
She was nothing special, but she was mine.

I know it’s a laugh, but it’s the best I’ve had.
I won’t act sad in all my paragraphs, and I won't cry.

Even though I know someday we’ll both die
I want you to know you kept me alive at one time.
Track Name: Cured!
I am a beautiful human, complete with acceptance of greed.
I am a perfect example of a man who has had a disease.

My aunt was a beautiful woman. She made up for the heart that I lack.
She used to talk to God and to Jesus. The only issue was that they spoke back.

So nothing makes sense.
Was she crazy, or blessed?
Like, sometimes, our gifts are disguised and we just make a mess.
But at least I’ve been cured.
Yeah, haven’t you heard?
You hate God yet Sunday you’re in church.
Getting drunk off the blood of Christ,
Isn’t it nice to live a lie?
Isn’t it great to have a place in the sky when you’re no longer alive?

This place is a beautiful city.

It’s been bad to me when I’ve felt alone.
This place is a decent city,
But I’ll die now if I don’t fucking go.

Bee, she’s a beautiful woman,
Just struggling with a means to an end.
She is a decent woman,
But she’ll never fuck me again.

So thank you Steve
I’ve been slurring my speech,
But the way that you compress my voice
Makes me nearly believe.
That at least I’ve been cured
Of my addiction to her.

What in the world have I topped?
Traded her dark curling for a lieter of scotch.
My voice is not much, but right now it’s all that I’ve got.
And I’m probably only playing this song so that girls will touch my...
Track Name: Me, Myself & Rye
I found the meaning of life.
It was inscribed on the side of my desk.
It looked like xs and ys.
Not ex-wives, or “Oh, god, whys?”
Like I’d been blinded to guess.

I know my own source code,
And it don’t make me love any less.
And I’m insane, I know.
To think my genome, my x/y chromosomes
Entail my male bullshit.

I’ve come to rely on a mind that was made just to die.
My reptilian brain screams with pain, stresses, and strives.
To stay alive, while my under-functioning eyes,
Look for a mate to maintain life.

So now I’m making the split.
Lobotomizing my ego and id,
As a way to maintain my bullshit.
In the night I will fuck you,
The next morning I won’t touch you.

And I’ll probably name some lost love as the thorn in my side.
And you’ll nearly believe ‘cause you need this lie more than I.
But at the end of the night it’s just me, myself, & rye.

I’ll probably die with a bottle of rye by my side.
And I won’t go alone, though I now know
My mind’s spaghetti code in someone’s hack-job program.
Track Name: States Away
Wake up tomorrow morning, feel my face, “I need to shave.”
Not alone in my bed, I’m half dressed, married, and thirty-eight.
Got the American Dream up my sleeve, so it seems, but I’ve had my doubts.
Water evaporates, and love runs out.

You’re a couple states over, a few hours back, in this future tense.
With the man you love now. He is out. He works for the government.
And as you slither alone in your sheets, avoiding sleep, do I cross your mind?
Am I the Jungian archetype of a friend who once died?

‘Cause I don’t know, if alone, I can break
This curse. I can’t learn if I make no mistakes.
So you build up your skills, yeah, mortar and brick.
I’m so sick. I’m still wondering what brick is.

I'm so sick. I'm still wondering what brick is.
Track Name: Ugly Feet
Ugly feet, that’s what she called me.
Said, “I don’t like you, but I love you, that’s why I’ve gotta leave.”

Bad breath, the one I haven’t left.
Well, I can’t leave you, but I need to, it’s why I’m so depressed.

Hold on to the love we made.
It’d mean the world to me if you remember.
Now all your pleads and all my dreams
Couldn’t put us back together.

“We seem different now,”
You scream from the passenger seat.
You tell me to go wash my feet, and say,
“I love you still, and always will, but I’d rather
Kill myself then let you make me feel better.”
Now, I’m gonna make you hate me.
I’ll make you feel one goddamn thing, so
No more clothes, grab a float,
I feel us sinking.
Don’t go alone. Syncopate that awkward breathing.

Stay strong I hear me say
It’d mean the world to me if you’d remember.

“We seem different how?”
You scream from the couch back at me,
And say things just to make me bleed. You think I
Need you still, and always will, but you’d rather
Fill your life with nights I know you won’t remember.
How did we get here, how’d we fall asleep?
It’s been years since I’ve been happy. I know its
Been short lived, it always is I guess all bad things
Come to an end. Just like all those good things often did.
Track Name: Still Kicking
I’m still kicking
Like I was inside the womb,
Asking for more sufficient room,
Born through a mother I never knew.

I’m still drinking,
And though you’ll count that as a loss,
I’m still glad to have the thoughts,
That are often worth shutting off.

I’m just a finite mind,
With finite time.
Born between piss and shit.
I'll be filled with lies in no time.

I'm still reeling,
From knowing forever is a farce.
There’s just one change to play my cards,
And I’m still shooting in the dark.

I’m still thinking,
That you’d be better off
If I made good on your thoughts,
And just got fucking lost.

So now I’m stumbling drunk
Home from a local pub.
My body’s spitting up:
The drugs I’ve never done, the women I never loved,
But liked enough to feel that I must touch.

Cause I’m still like a kid
At the super market
Touching shit.
Well, I must own it, embrace and hold it, outgrow it and throw it away.

I’m still kicking
Out the windows in my dreams.
You, “swore to God," you’d never leave,
A promise just as real as he is.

I’m still punching,
Myself straight in the side.
It’s a shame I’ve still survived.
I’m terrified I’ll never die.

So now I suck down smoke.
I won’t write a note.
I’ll let the end come slow.
I can see it now. It’s miles away.